WOW. It's been quite a while since I've updated...
My Mamaw has been in the hospital with pneumonia and kidney failure. She's 88 and quite feeble. And by feeble, I'm not just talking about physically, she's rather mentally feeble now, too. Dementia is the sneaky culprit behind my Mamaw's wild comments. My older family members aren't too surprised that dementia has officially shown it's ugly face, the majority of Mamaw's siblings and her parents all suffered from it. Mamaw is now in a nursing home in Pascagoula, MS for physical therapy and I'm not sure that she'll ever return to her 1 bedroom home blocks from the Gulf. I visited her while she was still in ICU at the hospital, and she knew me... Sadly, she is off & on in recognizing my mom.
I am so sad for my mom... I can't begin to imagine the heartache she is feeling knowing that her mother may not see another year, yet alone maybe another day. Mom is strong... she always has been & probably always will be. She knows that Mamaw is ready to go, is right with God, and doesn't want her to suffer anymore, but where mom's strength becomes a little shakey is when Mamaw looks at her and has no clue who she is or when she forces herself to realize that once Mamaw is gone, both of her parents will be gone.
I wish there was something I could do to help... but what do you say? I'm sorry? That just feels like such a pathetic phrase at this point.
I've prayed and pleaded with God to make sure that Mamaw's not in pain, knowing that He has a specific time for her. I asked God to just let me be able to see her one more time. I have seen her, and wil ocntinue to pray for her to not be in pain. I am confident that I will be able to be the "strong one" for my mom. She's the strongest woman I know, but even the strong need to lean on someone sometimes... I just want her to know that she can lean on me during this time.